Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Assimilate, Separate, or Integrate? (The Script)

Have you ever experienced culture shock? My name is Pamela and I sure have. I am an American married to a Frenchman. I began my cultural journey five years ago in a small village in the south east of France. I did not I truly feel the geographic culture shock in the beginning because I was busy with a newborn. The culture shock of being a mommy helped keep separated me from my host French culture. I went on to spend three years in Belgium where there are three national languages. I felt the language barrier more, I missed home, I missed the foods I was used to in the states, I didn’t have a strong social network yet, and I had another baby. I sought relief from culture shock in Belgium by shopping at The American Food Store for a few expensive imported comfort foods and surrounding myself with American or at least English speaking church family and friends. Now I have been back in France for roughly a year and a half. What I find to be the most shocking in the sense of regularly dealing with culture, is the difference in language. However, with continued progress in my French fluency this part gets easier to deal with. Yes, I still miss things about Alabama and the United States in general. I miss my American/English speaking family and friends, I miss church worship in English, I miss small things like Ranch dressing, Tootsie Rolls, and Little Debbie cakes, I miss parking that is free and easy to come by, and I miss stores being open 24/7. Yet, I have adapted, I have integrated, I have made the choice to replace things when possible or better yet simply move on and accept the change. Really, for a lot of things I have merely forgotten I even missed them. It is tough at times. In the beginning milk was a huge shock for me. Here in France milk is homogenized and comes in different fat levels as in the states, but French drink UHT milk. It is sterilized at ultra-high-temperatures to kills germs which allows it to stay on a shelf in my garage non-refrigerated until opened. The taste was startlingly different to me in the beginning. With time I got use to the taste. That is one small example of shock. Other shocking for me things were: greeting with cheek kisses, the strong taste of French cheese, comic books resembling porn available in my local grocery store, and everyone having a name day or fête. These things may still be strange to me, but I have grown accustomed to them. Finally, I am a mother of children who are dual citizens and bilingual. I want my daughters to partake in French as well as American culture. This may be difficult if not impossible for some things since we are in fact in France, but I do what I can. For instance, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving which is non-existent in France. The French have a yummy holiday solely for consuming crêpes known as La Chandeleur. For Thanksgiving I prepare as traditional meal as possible. For Crêpe Day I have learned the art of making crêpes. Again, I have shared only a few examples. There are plenty of ways I have run into and continue to run into culture differences and at times feel “shock.” So, what do you do? Do you completely abandon your native culture and take on a new one, assimilating? Do you separate yourself completely and try to maintain your own culture in a community of liked mined others? Or do you integrate yourself? To the best of my abilities I have embraced living in a different culture and so I have integrated. Let’s say I am French American now. It is difficult, frustrating, and exciting all at the same time. In my opinion it is all about choice and attitude. If you remain positive and welcome change integration can be relatively easy. Remind yourself that this shock you feel is simply the fact of being faced with new and different things or experiences and you will be able to roll with the punches. If you are unwillingly to try or you resist completely there will certainly be difficult long lastly “shock.”


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